


The Grand Galloping Gala (EAGGG 2016 Entry)

by persistent_pedantry



Series: Just a Bunch of Technicolour Horses [1]
Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:29:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23110027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persistent_pedantry/pseuds/persistent_pedantry
Summary: Needle Jab goes to a ball, talks to a few canons, then punches someone's lights out. Black-tie events are great for that kinda stuff.
Series: Just a Bunch of Technicolour Horses [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661098





	The Grand Galloping Gala (EAGGG 2016 Entry)

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read this, keep in mind that this was written in 2016 and even then, it was dumbed down for a younger audience. This was done for the MyGalaStory challenge on Equestria Amino, and I was pretty new at the time. I didn't really know what demographic I was writing for, so I shot low - really, really low -and it came first. It came at the cost of not being able to read it nowadays, but a small price to pay for glory.
> 
> Also, Needle was in his 20s back when this was written. What I was thinking back then, I have NO idea.
> 
> Oh yeah, and paragraphs didn't like me since I think the note app I was using made the formatting really weird, so I just made the paragraphs weirder? I'd fix them but that would mean having to read it, so you're suffering with me.

"The Grand Gallopin' Gala... What kind'a name is that, anyway?" The blind stallion grumbles as he slowly brushes a hoof over the desk to find his black blindfold – reserved for formal occasions instead of his usual red sash. He, for the first time in years, is actually wearing a suit; a tuxedo, at that. His brother, Cog had told him that he had to wear something fancy for the Gala and this was the only thing in his wardrobe that even remotely fits the criteria. Needle lets out a quiet sigh, taking the blindfold and pulling it over his eye sockets, the eyelids sewn shut a long time ago; and tying the knot with obvious effort before pulling it to tighten around his head, being sure not to disturb his dark grey mane, still flecked and streaked with the occasional silver hair. His job's catching up to him; it's certainly not his age, he's only in his late 20s but ponies have said he looks older – early 40s older, which is annoying. Nevertheless, now isn't the time to be dwelling on his mane, he'd best be off.

With a last adjustment to his tuxedo and a check over his mane, the doctor steps out of his house, locking the door once he had left and soon begins to trot towards the castle. Well, he is certain that this is the direction; he is near to the Carousel Boutique so maybe he could ask R-"Needle, darling! Is that a tuxedo I see?" Ah, his prayers have been answered. He looks to the left, roughly in the direction to where he heard the voice. "Aye, t'is." He replies in his typical, though muddy Cockney accent. He doesn't know Rarity too well, only ever going to the boutique if he needs a new blindfold or some old fabric if he's ran out of bandages but from what he knows, she seems like a nice mare – as far as Unicorns go. "Tell me, when is the last time you've been in a suit, dear? It suits you well." She asks, humour in her tone at the unintentional pun. Needle thinks for a few moments before eventually answering "I think it's been... four years? Also, I appreciate the compliment. I'd do the same but, well, can't like what I can't see." He gives a small, though clearly dry smile. The white coated mare chuckles softly before lowering her head in a small nod "Well, I shall take the hypothetical compliment nevertheless. Now, I had best be off; I have ponies to meet. I hope to see you there, Doctor!" She finishes, soon trotting off as she hums a quiet tune.

The stallion doesn't move for a moment or two, fully processing what had just happened before he turns back to the right, trotting towards the castle once again. "Thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five," Needle murmurs under his breath, being sure that he doesn't lose his way as he trots. Being blind, he has to find his way by using audible landmarks – such as trees rustling – along with counting the steps to the destination. The castle is, on average, about... Celestia, he can't remember. He quietly scolds himself for forgetting such a simple thing as a number, now only having to rely on landmarks and voices. Though, come to think of it, he could just ask if he could follow somepony there, that would save him a lot of effort. Alright, so where is he...? He is soon met by his muzzle against a wall. He purses his lips, letting out a small "Ow." before taking a few steps back; seems like he was lost in thought. He takes a few moments to think before sighing and calling out, not too loud but easily audible "Hey! Anypony able to lend a hoof? Lost m'way."

He almost immediately hears a high, energetic and incredibly annoying voice right next to him "Hi there!" Needle turns his head to look – figuratively speaking – at the voice almost at the speed to give him minor whiplash, the stallion resting a hoof on his head afterwards "Dammit, don't do that!" He hears a giggle before the voice once again, speaking at an unhealthily fast rate "Sorry, sorry! I just saw that you needed help and I'm a helpful pony so I wanted to help, you still want help, r-" "Uh..." Needle begins, trying to interject "-ight? I can be a little slow sometimes, not in my brain, in my legs; I'm really smart! Want me to show how sm-" "Miss? You don't have to talk that fast." He tries again, a little louder; she doesn't seem to hear him. "-art I am? No, wait! You want to get to the Gala, right? The Grand Galloping Gala? Well, of course it's the Grand Galloping Gala, what other Galas are there? Do you want some help getting there? I guess you probably maybe definitely need h-" "Listen, luv!" Needle interjects, almost yelling. He sighs quietly, the voice finally having stopped "Alright," he begins "I need to get to the Gala. Firstly, let's keep this basic. My name is Dr. Jab, most know me as Needle. You are...?" "The name's Pinkie Pie!" she almost immediately answers, attempting to continue talking again "So you're a doctor? That's so cool! I wish I could be a doctor bu-" "Pinkie, please;" Needle interrupts with a sigh "look, just show me the way to the Gala and I'll be off." "Ok! It's that way!" The voice comes again, a slight shifting being heard before silence once again. Needle purses his lips slightly, murmuring under his breath "Dear Celestia, this pony is a lost cause." After a moment or two, he speaks up again "Miss, I can't see where you're pointing. I'm blind." Pinkie, who had pointed towards where the majority of the ponies were trotting, looks at him in confusion before chirping again "Ok! Just take a few steps left and keep going forward with a bit to the left! Did I help? Did that help? I hope it w-" "Thank you, Miss Pie." The stallion interrupts once again – and hopefully for the last time. She grins, eventually seeming to... well, what Needle heard as hopping "No problem, Mister Jab!" Needle eventually does as she says, taking a few steps to the left before continuing ahead, bearing slightly to the left with a quiet mutter "Doctor Jab. Didn't get a PhD for nothing."

Needle continues to walk, keeping his steps consistent as his ears twitch acutely, picking up the sounds from around him. He hears several hoofsteps around him, giving a small, relieved sigh as he trots. After a few moments, he homes in on one of the ponies and goes over to them, asking simply "'Scuse me, this is the way to the Gala, innit?" The voice of the pony sounds... well, snobbish. Not to any major degree but they certainly didn't seem to warm up to Needle "Yes, this is the way to the Gala, yet I am surprised that such a... stallion as yourself may attend." Needle's smile drops along with his hoof as he trots, looking at the pony blankly – figuratively speaking. "And what," Needle asks, unable to keep the snarl from his voice caused from his amazingly short temper "do you mean my that?" There is a hesitation in the other's voice; the pony not seeming to say anything for a few moments before attempting a small half-laugh "Well, you are blind, first; you could walk on to the stage by accident, couldn't you? Secondly; your voice, it is... displeasing to the ear. The third point, the most important of the three, is that you are simply not important!" It takes just about all of Needle's willpower not to throw the pony down then and there; but he just lets out a long sigh, relaxing himself before eventually retorting. "I am blind, yes; though, I can hear tenfold of what you can – how do you think I trotted over to you so easily with all the others around us? In response to your second point, my accent is just the way I speak and that don't change my personality or status one bit. On the last point, my name is Dr. Needle Jab PhD. I am easily one of the best surgeons in Equestria and possibly the world, along with being the credited inventor of muscle soldering; all of this along with the fact that I had me eyes gouged out by a unicorn. In the medical world, I am the élite, a genius, a revolutionist; so if I'm not bloody well important then tell me this, Sir: Who in Tartarus are you?" After a few moments of silence save for the occasional fluster from the other pony, Needle speaks again in a sickly sweet tone "Oh, and you never told me if this was the way to the Gala? Though, I suppose I am being a bit presumptuous in asking; have a good evening and don't let y'muzzle hit the ceiling, you bleedin' snob." He quickens his trot slightly, cantering for a few moments to move to the front before he returns to his normal pace. If he was honest, he was both fairly ashamed and proud of himself for doing that but, well, that pony had to be put in his place, right? It doesn't matter, he doesn't expect that he will be talking to them again any time soon.

As he trots alongside the rest of the guests, Needle's ears having been picking up the occasional snippet of conversation from the others on their way to the Gala – most of which were simply speaking about what might happen. After a good while, he finally hears a few calls about it being just ahead and what have you; seems like they're close. He continues to trot, idly humming an old tune as he approaches the castle with an unmistakable mirth in the air as he does. He feels, with good reason, that this might be more enjoyable than he first believed – he might be able to see a few friends of his. Maybe he'll see Macintosh, whom he's always respected for his silence; a wise pony had once said that words are like anything in this world: The more there are, the less they are worth; which makes words from ponies like Mac a little more than a commodity. Needle roots around in his pocket, trying to find his ticket, faltering once he fails to find it in his pocket. His heart-rate quickening slightly, he quickly goes to check the other pocket, cursing under his breath as he searches for it until he hears a fleeting voice behind him "Under your blindfold, dear." His head turns slightly in trying to see the pony who had spoken, soon sighing quietly with a sheepish but relieved smile; reaching under his blindfold and pulling out the golden ticket, hidden just beside his ear, where he always keeps things secure when he needs to. "Thanks, luv." He responds to the voice, the owner having left for the ballroom already. He waits for a few moments, letting his mind process everything that had happened in the night so far before he lets out another sigh, his demeanour visibly relaxing by a degree as he trots forward to the entrance, presenting the ticket to the guard idly before stepping inside.

Luna's mercy, their voices.

Just about everypony in the function sounds so... snobbish, though Needle supposes that the notion makes sense, the Gala only being for the élite of society; but still, he never knew that they would all be so stuck-up. Polite chortles, carefully picked words like they're being taken from brambles; several ponies using words that Needle has no idea what they mean – and he is fairly certain that they don't know either. With a small grumble, the doctor trots directly to the right, being sure to keep near the wall until he stops a few steps in to stay somewhere where there shouldn't be many ponies. He wouldn't be talked to, he was a pony in his late twenties who looks like he's in his early forties and acts like he's in his sixties; of course nopony is going to try such a thing as to talk to h-"Well, hello there." Oh joy, he's been corrected.

The doctor shifts his non-existence gaze over to the voice that he strongly suspect to be that of a mare's. "'Ello." He replies simply, not even attempting to mask his accent. She replies with a somewhat soothing calmness to her voice "My name is Sapphire Gleam. It is a pleasure to meet you, Mister...?" "Doctor," he corrects, his voice more likely to keep a pony awake than to soothe them to sleep. "Doctor Needle Jab PhD." The reply from the mare has a distinct air of surprise "Oh, a doctor? Well, I must say it is quite a sight to see a blind doctor, one without a white nor blue coat, at that." He feels his expression hardening at the mention of his sight, along with his coat – ponies never seem to just let his coat be whatever colour it bloody well wants to be. He lets out an almost silent sigh, forcing his features to relax into a faint smile as he eventually replies "Blindness means little when you know where everything is already;" he begins, his ears twitching slightly "and my coat did used to be a dark blue –navy, almost – but I wasn't a fan of the colour, especially with my then black mane so I dyed my coat brown." He gives a small shrug, the mare replying once again "I see. Well, a blind doctor who, as you insinuated, can analyse the environment through sound is really quite something, I must say. Also... well, I think navy would suit you quite well." She chuckles softly once she had finished, getting another shrug from the brown-coated stallion in return "I'm flattered. Though, it doesn't look too good on me anymore; you're just saying that to be polite. Anyway, on to another subject, I take it you've been to the Gala before? Personally, this is my first since I'm not one for functions like this." "Oh?" She says, surprise clear in her voice "Well, I this is my fourth but I still do not hesitate to welcome you to the Grand Galloping Gala, Dr. Jab." The stallion lowers his head in a small nod, soon raising it after a moment before he replies "Thank you, Sapphire. It is appreciated. Now, I suppose that I should go and, for want of a better word, 'mingle.'" His expression changes slightly in disgust at the word, as if even speaking of the notion brought a foul taste to his mouth. Another chuckle leaves the mare, though it sounds more alike to a giggle "I wish you luck, Doctor. Farewell for now." Needle gives a final nod before slowly trotting away, being sure not to bump into anypony as he does.

After a good hour and a half of familiarizing himself with the environment along with attemptedly mingling with the other guests without snapping at anypony (which went surprisingly well); Needle rests up against a wall again with a quiet, yet profound sigh. He doesn't like this at all, mainly just because of the formality; he understands why it is as such but that doesn't cause him to detest the notion any less. With his patience – along with his attempts at staying well-mannered – weaning, he begins to trot to where he believes there to be a set of stairs. Perhaps it will be quieter up there; as he climbs the stairs, he mutters, louder than he'd have liked "Dear Celestia, this is bloody torture." "I must agree with you, Doctor." Another voice sounds beside – more like above – him, causing him to jolt slightly in surprise. He looks to his right before quickly bringing his eyeless gaze upwards, speaking in a hushed but involuntary snap "Wh-?! Dammit, don't do that! You'll give me a bleedin' heart attack!" The voice speaks again, a hint surprised "Oh, my apologies. I had just heard that you had addressed me and only came to see if you needed anything of me. Also, I do not think many ponies would be too appreciative of that language, Doctor." He doesn't speak for a good few moments, processing what she had said before slowly opening his mouth to speak a single word: "Ah." He hadn't addressed anyone save for Celestia, which was a variant of cursing; and since Princess Celestia was said to be attending, along the pony who had just spoken to him being higher up...

Needle hesitates for a few moments more before continuing "My... apologies, Your 'Ighness. I wasn't aware that it was you nor that my muttering was that loud." He says, taking a small step back and lowering his head and part of his upper body in a small bow. She laughs softly but expectedly formally before she replies "It is quite alright; and there is no need to bow, I am simply another guest here. Well, I like to think so, that is. Nevertheless, I am still inclined to agree with you on the Gala being torture, it is nothing but awkward silences and carefully chosen words. Though, is this not your first attendance at the Gala? I do not recall seeing you here the previous year, nor the year before." He gives a small nod, having risen from the bow "T'is, yer 'Ighness. I don't like going to these kind of things but my brother insisted." "Ah, well it is certainly good to see that you have come at least once, Doctor. Few ponies have the privilege to do so." the princess replies, hearing the band finish the piece and move on to the next. Needle's head turns slightly to look in the rough direction of the band before he looks back to Celestia "I suppose so. Still, if only one pony in a thousand had the chance to have their limbs amputated, I wouldn't expect many of them to take it... apologies, that was a fairly morbid analogy. Also, I'm sorry but could you just call me Needle? I'm sick to death of being called Doctor outside of work." The Alicorn gives a small hum in thought before replying "Yes, I suppose you're right about the amputation concept; and I shall call you Needle if you will call me Celestia. You couldn't imagine how annoying that can get, along with all the formalities. Just imagine everypony having to bow every time they speak to you along with being called Doctor." Needle can't help but let out a small chuckle at the thought "I suppose so, Celestia..." The chuckle soon stops, being replaced by a frown of thought "I'm sorry, I ain't interrupting nothing, am I? I was told that you'd be greeting guests." The reply comes with obvious relief and a small laugh "Well, I was greeting the guests but luckily, the last guest on the list had entered ten minutes ago; leaving me free to socialise as I may." Needle nods with one of the only genuine smiles he's given in longer than he'd like to admit "Well, I'm glad to hear. On another note, I wouldn't be lying in saying that you're certainly pleasant company." Celestia speaks softly, in a seemingly caring tone "Thank you, Needle. It is apprec-" "Dr. Needle Jab, is it? Come here this instant!"

Celestia gives a small hum in surprise at the sudden voice, speaking with obvious caution "A friend of yours, I presume?" Needle wheezes, the air pushing out of his lungs before he speaks with a lack of breath and strain to his voice "No, just somepony I came across on the way here who I was... a touch rude to." Needle takes in a breath, speaking to Celestia a final time "Well, that's my cue to leave as quickly as possible. It has been wonderful talking, Celestia." "Indeed it has. Good luck, Needle." She replies, both humour and concern in her tone. "Aye," Needle finishes dryly "I'll need it." He trots down the stairs, approaching the other stallion "What the hay d'you want? I'm leav-" "Oh, of course you are! The moment attention comes to you, you hide away like a coward, do you not?" He exclaims, cutting him off "I don't believe I ever had the chance to introduce myself, frog. Sir Duke Legacy; entrepreneur, 'mare magnet' as you might call it and a true genius!" Needle groans quietly, keeping himself calm as he replies bluntly "I'm English, clod; frog is for the French. You don't even know how to win a bloody argument so don't call yourself a damned genius." A laugh from the other "Oh! So I'm not the genius? Well, I am sure that geniuses do not partake in racist acts, do they? So how can you call yourself one?" Needle pales slightly, a snarl rising as he quietly growls "Genii and I don't know nor care how you know about that but speak a word of it here and I will hurt you." Yet another laugh "Watch me, 'clod':" His taunt is followed by a loud yell, echoing through the now silent hall "Attention all!" He begins, Needle slowly shifting as he mutters tithe other "You dare..." Duke ignores him, calling out once again to the Gala "The oh-so-famous Needle Jab hates Unic-!" He is soon cut off by the doctor's foreleg gripping his throat, pulling him over Needle's shoulder and slamming him onto the ground. He lets out a sigh, Duke sprawled out on the floor as Needle lets out a sigh, muttering "Trust me to make a scene." before calling out with a weary voice in response to the admittedly worrying murmurs that had risen after a few movements of stunned silence "My apologies about him. I don't know why he has such a problem with me but I am completely unprejudiced against Unicorns." Once he had finished, he trots past the collapsed figure, letting out a quiet groan as he canters out of the Gala with most of the guests within the ballroom silent after what had just happened. "Luna's mercy, that was embarrassing." He murmurs, trotting away from the castle and back towards his house.

After a short while of trotting and a review over the night, Needle arrives at his home, unlocking the door and stepping inside before closing and locking the door behind him, taking his tuxedo jacket and throwing it aside before the rest follows, including his blindfold. Afterwards, Needle gets into his bed and rests his head wearily against the pillow with a profound sigh. So he got into a fight, met Princess Celestia and two hours trying not to lose his temper, eventually failing. For once in his life, a wide grin graces Needle's features.

"Best night o' my life."


End file.
